As I write this, I reflect on a weekend filled with family and events-celebrations and stress, laughter, great food, children running around, and schedules.
Since my girls have been born, I have an increasing awareness that I don’t quite connect with others the way I used to. This is not a bad thing, but it’s different, because I’ve transformed, and my family is growing. Sometimes, it feels sad, like something has been lost. Other times, it’s empowering because being a mother forces you to use your brain differently, like learning an instrument or speaking a different language. I see the world through changing lenses. There is the individual, the caregiver, the educator, and the partner. Mothers are now on my radar. I understand the way they drive, and why they sleep on the couch until you come home.
The thought is not original, but a good friend sent me an internet meme one day that put words to this idea that your energy attracts others with your energy. The meme read: “You’re vibe attracts your tribe.” I think of a tribe as individuals that share a common energy that usually drive them towards common goals. Many people who I consider part of my “tribe” are not mothers. They’re not even women. Conversely, there are many women and mothers that I don’t feel very connected to. These individuals have different priorities, and their lives have aligned differently to attain their goals, so our paths don’t cross much, either by chance or design. And that’s OK.
Being an adult means that there are choices. You are no longer confined to the small circles and limited perspectives that you once grew up with. Sometimes your vibe changes, or the tribe changes. Instead of forcing a connection, it can be a freeing moment to realize that there are others in the world with shared goals, that engage regularly in positive and encouraging dialogue, and that infuse their interactions with joy, enthusiasm, clarity, and support even when they’re just passing through.
This brings me to another favorite meme-ok, it’s actually a quote from Heraclitus.
He’s a good person to meme out with if you’re looking for quotes about change. I’ve realized that trying to recreate a golden moment in time is not only impossible, but a waste of the precious present. Even if you reconnect with the “tribe,” after a long time away, and you tinker with all of the variables to closely resemble that original experience, it will be different. Time is transformative. It may still be wonderful, but it will never be the same, and that can be exciting and memorable in its own way.
So now I segway to soaking up the good stuff. This will sound super dramatic and may even elicit an eye roll, but I live every day as if it were my last. Perhaps the thought of backpacking across Europe just popped into your head-something you’ve alway wanted to do. Or maybe you’re thinking of starting your own business as you reflect on a less than satisfying job you’ve plugged away at for years. For me, I think about the giant, whole body hugs I get from my girls. There is seriously nothing better. I have not lived my day to its fullest until I’ve thoroughly snuggled with my babies and kissed their cheeks, blown raspberries on bellies, and tickled baby feet. When I hear the tandem squeals of laughter, or get to sing to both of my girls sitting in my lap, I think to myself, I could die happy. And I mean that. I do wish I had traveled more before children, (who doesn’t?) and I would love to add some professional accomplishments to my bucket list, but really, those are all a far second to being present in the moment and really enjoying my children.
That’s all. Just good vibes, and grateful for another day. ❤